I really hate the weekends nowadays. In the weekdays we, me and her, talk every day, and mostly for like hours. It’s really good. I also get to see her in school every day and talk to her there. But in the weekends, and Friday too mostly, I hardly ever speak her. She’s busy, with life. I mean, today, Friday, we hung out for like four hours together after school, and it was amazing. Really, so great. But then we went home, and she hasn’t been online since. That’s not long, I’ve been home for like five hours. But I already miss her greatly. And I know I will speak to her for just a very short period of time today, tomorrow and Sunday. Maybe the worst part is not actually seeing her. She’s so pretty in my eyes. And I’ve got picture or such, but still… IRL is the only place where she can show her true beauty. And that can only be seen by my eyes.
I really want to hang out together with her again this weekend. I’ve been offering coming over yesterday and Wednesday, mostly jokingly… Maybe I can ask her to see that movie again. But she’s got a party tomorrow, and there was something on Sunday. That’s the evenings, but afternoons won’t work either, they’re too messed up. She’ll probably see her boyfriend one of them, and the other shall be reserved for either someone else, or homework.
I’ve been falling further in love with her more and more the last couple of days. Like since Wednesday, every day was really great. She started conversations. She even started more than we had; I’ve been the busy one lately.
There was a weird moment today. Well, there were multiple, but one is special. We looked into each others eyes. I think for just a couple of seconds, but we both were silent and just looked. There was a smile on her face, not as large as normally, but just a subtle smile, which was more beautiful and meaningful than ever. I can’t imagine there wasn’t this wide-ass grin on my face, but as I recall it, my smile was subtle too. We didn’t say anything about this moment later, but I think we both felt it was… powerful.
I’ve already thought and typed about this moment about 1000 times longer than it lasted.
But there was something different today too. I’ve always been more comfortable with touching her than any other girl; a pat on her shoulder, a comforting hand on her leg. But today, there was way more physical contact than ever. Like I softly ‘hit’ (SOFTLY!) her on the… lower back when she was being annoying. Or her basically constantly having her hand on my shoulder, for minutes. The ‘closest’ we’ve been was when she was doing something (what she was doing is both irrelevant and embarrassing) and I was looking at it over her shoulder. But since she’s just a bit smaller than me and I couldn’t watch from very far, I held my head right next to hers. Our cheeks almost touched. If we would have looked at each other, our mouths would have been pressed against each other. And I probably would turn it into a kiss, both to make it look less clumsy :P and well… to kiss her. I would have done that a thousand times today if I didn’t control myself. Like; the order was already given by my brain to kiss her, and I had to manually stop it.
I can’t imagine someone reading all the way to here. I’m really just thinking about her, and writing my thoughts. And they are quite weird.
Dinner now, that might keep me from missing her more. Probably doesn’t though.
So I don’t know whether you are familiar with Improv Everywhere. It’s a Youtube Channel consistent of actors that play scenes in public places. Like, in a subway. That’s what they tried in their last video, a guy dressed up like Jar Jar Binks (Star Wars) and went into the subway. Now, all the other people on the subway don’t know what the hell is happening at this point. That’s part of the fun; seeing the reactions of normal people.
But this time, it went wrong. Three guys in the subway attacked the actor dressed up like Jar Jar. Then, Darth Maul (the second actor) walked in and took off his mask immediately to show the guys this was all a joke. The three guys ran out of the subway at this point.
Here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zTUkoYorBxg&
I really hate this, cause, well, I’ve had an acting group. And when we wanted to have fun, we also did things just on the streets. Like we split up in pairs and walked onto the town square and all of a sudden, all started to look up. And everyone that saw us, looked up as well to see what’s happening. Of course, what Improv Everywhere does is way cooler, but I keep thinking that if someone didn’t like it, we could have been attacked as well. So I’m trying to get some attention for these guys.
After you watch this video, check out their other videos as well. They’re great, and I don’t want them to stop making them because of such ‘accidents’.
I had a weird dream tonight. Weirdly, it’s not even about her. I say I dream about her, but no. I daydream about her, but not actual regular dreams. Well, none that I can remember. I can’t remember most, so they might be about her. (I’m rambling about her again while that’s not the point of this post. Where did I do that too? :P)
The dream: It was like an action movie. Me and my partner (who was also my wife of course (correction: my hot wife)) were FBI-like people. I’m not going into the details. There weren’t any, that’s why :P. I just know that somehow we got into an car where a civilian was driving and me and her (my partner, not her; I didn’t see her in this dream) were having a gunfight with some cars behind us. But at some point, our car was going so fast that there was a bullet flying out of the window on my side, at the speed of the car. (In a dream, this is normal.) And I just stretched my arm out of the window and took the bullet with my hand. No problem.
Why I’m telling all this? Don’t know. Wanted to write a blog post about it. It’s one of the few dreams I remembered when I woke up, which is now about 12 hours ago. And I still remember it. Could mean something. Though I have no idea what. Nothing important I guess; she had no role in the dream.
All I know is that, if it would have been a real action movie, my partner would be played by Angelina Jolie. And it would have been one hell of a blockbuster.
In this philosophy… I’d be a girl. Though I do think about her when going to sleep.